Some profound and wonderful things I have learned as a sojourner on planet earth

By Charles Towne

There are a few key bits of “wisdom” I have learned on my journey through the years and across this planet. Some have been learned through experience, and others through… well… I take that back; I’ve learned them all through experience. It may not have always been the “best” way to learn, but the lessons sure seem to stick a bit longer. 

I don’t know where you are on your own journey – but I hope some of these  “things learned” can either save you a bit of heartache, or at least lessen the ache of your heart, and maybe even bring it a smile along the way as you find your own way forward. 

So here they are, in all their simple, and profound glory. (They really do get profounder the longer you live.)

(1)   No matter how hard you try, you can never fall up.

(2)   No matter how good your reason seems to be at the moment, never bite a horse’s hoof. (Don’t ask!)

(3)   No matter what your older sister tells you, raisins do NOT grow under the rabbit’s pen.

(4)  It is probably a good idea to remember that sleeping dogs do bite!

(5) When shot out of a giant slingshot, chickens cannot fly.  (Hey, they are birds, right?  And birds fly, right? Well,  apparently something’s not right, because I tried, and they don’t.)

(6)   No matter how faultless your reason may be, your mama likely won’t let you play with the maggot covered dead chicken that you shot out of your giant slingshot.

(7)   Lightning bugs taste downright nasty.

(8)   Dried out petrified toads don’t make good Christmas gifts, no matter what color ribbon you tie around their cute little necks.

(9)   No matter what you think to the contrary, daddy will find out!

(10)   When daddy is gone, you will wish he was there to find out.

(11)   Cats protest loudly and violently when you try to stuff them into a pillow case, no matter what your reason.

(12)   Sometimes it takes more than one mistake to learn a valuable lesson.

(13)  Raisins do not grow under the rabbit’s pen.

(14)   No matter what you think when you are ten years old, daddy is definitely smarter than you are.  

(15)   God really does listen to mama’s prayers.

And one more…

(16) Don’t do it. Daddy will find out.
  
Dear Papa God, I cannot make this journey on my own! Without you, I am helplessly and hopelessly lost. You are my compass and my guide. Please keep teaching me, guiding me, and helping me to be what you intend me to be. Without your protection, your loving guidance, and your sheltering care I don’t have a chance; but with your support I can make it. Thank you, O Holy friend! Thank you, and praise you. I love you Daddy, in Jesus’ wonderful name and for His sake, Amen.

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